| Year 2008!!! Year where everyone blooms like a rose |
[Jan. 3rd, 2008|12:37 am] |
yup its the start of the new year.
i've been reading blogs of my friends and seems everyone has plans for this year.
Well not to be left out i do have plans myself.
So it seems it'll take me a little longer to graduate so now that i've come
to face such reality ill be working as i study.
Well yeah i have to schedule time and everything etc.
But after doing some reflecting on what have i been doing...
im pretty sure if i do this i can finally say im alive and doing something for myself.
The past year i thought that i was doing something for myself but in reality im just being
a wuss and a total nutcase.
chasing women and wasting money on her to win her affections.
Forcing myself to her and same goes to the online games that i've been very addictive.
That's not me at all.
So as the new year starts i'll start my own engine as well.
Ill be throwing all the worthlessness within me and face something worth my life.
ill be doing this for my sake.
Not for Alodia's sake or any excuse.
And you may be wondering so what about her?
ok what about her?
Fuck the hell out forget her people who dont care about other people
are junk.
its better that i just do things in my own pace.
Im much happier and healthier that way.
Not to mention its not really my character to be extra kind to women.
Im more of the tsundere but not completely tsundere.
Google tsundere for the meaning i hate explaining.
So that covers most of the entry.
I'll be attending cons but this time for my sake.
Ill be doing things not for anyone's sake but its for my sake.
After all selfishness is something that really fuels me to live.
Oh about the artwork thingies..
yeah im still doing those but not to be known forcefully.
i want to be known for who i am.
PS:
im not afraid anymore to show who i really am.
i wont be holding back to anyone anymore. |
|
|
| 4chan.org got DDoS bigtime [ Please READ!!! ] |
[Dec. 15th, 2007|02:52 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | 4chan | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Under17 - kujibiki Unbalance | ] |
yup as im saying this (typing to be specific)
moot is still making soup as the fags of ididitforthelulz or the lulz continue their
DDoS attack on 4chan.
You can view 4chan's status page on
http://4chanstatus.blogspot.com
and has this as its status:
(taken from the stated site)
-----
ATTENTION!
4chan's account with its domain name registrar has been stolen. This allows for the malicious editing of our nameserver list(s) and thus compromises the integrity of 4chan.org and various other domains tied to the account.
DO NOT SEND ANY SORT OF "PRIVATE" OR SECURE INFORMATION TO 4CHAN.ORG. CLEAR YOUR COOKIES AND DISCONTINUE BROWSING THE SITE IMMEDIATELY.
A redirect page has gone up on the [real] 4chan servers to point users to this blog. Individuals who have an outdated DNS cache will be bounced here. From this point forward, take anything you read on 4chan.org with a grain of salt (that's a bit ironic, isn't it?).
In the mean time, here is a list of real IPs and corresponding hosts:
206.220.140.2 ns1.4chan.org
216.213.88.50 ns3.4chan.org
66.207.165.165 ns2.4chan.org
66.207.165.166 www.4chan.org
66.207.165.167 content.4chan.org
66.207.165.168 orz.4chan.org
66.207.165.169 tmp.4chan.org
66.207.165.171 rs.4chan.org
66.207.165.172 static.4chan.org
66.207.165.176 zip.4chan.org
66.207.165.177 bin.4chan.org
66.207.165.178 dis.4chan.org
66.207.165.181 img.4chan.org
66.207.165.182 dat.4chan.org
66.207.165.186 cgi.4chan.org
66.207.165.187 nov.4chan.org
by moot @ 2:16 AM
---------------------
So what sparked this kind of faggotry?
here:
We are Locutus of Anonymous
You will respond to our questions.
Your use of a public IRC netowrk is less efficent for Anonymous and to you.
We have established a large and stable network, just for Anonyous
Lulznet.
irc.lulz.net
aka irc.partyvan.org aka irc.lulzhost.net
It is the combined servers of many chans.
7chan has joind, fapchan as well; 420chan will when they update their server software.
the /i/nsurgents built it off our several servers.
The Patriotic Nigras have added their servers.
Great things are afoot.
We will await your return
But we know that moving #4chan onto the central node is most efficent for all parties.
not happening
irc is stupid
go away
~~~
We do not wish to hinder the progress of 4chan
But we must sadly attack until /b/ conforms to the will of Anonymous.
We shall double the dataforce.
uh okay
i am going to go make soup now
------
Apparently and as per stated some guys want to 4chan to go merge or something
but moot stood firm.
For me it seems he knows that 4chan is 4chan and will never be something of someone else's
faggotry material.
yeah i know there are multiply users that visit 4chan like me
(im an /a/ /egl/ /v/ /b/ /w/ anon just so you know)
but even if 4chan is one hell of a fucked up site its still one best place on the net.
Hope when this is over we can all go and see 4chan back.
For now i've lurked the net for the best image that can best describe what anon's
can do to the person responsible for this.
Sources where you can get more of what really happened:
http://4chanstatus.blogspot.com/
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Lulznet
http://www.otakutimes.com/2007/12/14/4chan-hacked-and-offline/
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/The_Caturday_Nap
image below is just for laughs XD
 |
|
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| Things now and next |
[Nov. 14th, 2007|10:48 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | things | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | School | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Mami Kawada - Joint | ] |
im actually rwatching the episode 5 season2 of shakugan no shana as im typing this but what the hell
i can do two things at the sime time not to mention i know the keyboard very well
unconsciously.
nways the folowing are the things that im doing or at it at the moment:
----Games----
ok so im playing RF ONLINE as usual.
thou this time im kinda having thoughts of
returning to my mother server which is praxis.
i had this information that she was playing
RF ONLINE silently and is currently residing
in my mother server which is ALTRAX.
I was a hunter back in my days where altrax
was the best server a hardcore player can
log-in to.
Maybe ill hunt her down after enchancing my
character back to superb monstrosity
as to prove to myself that it will be the end
of it all.
Ah! about that see the portion below.
(others category)
OH and im playing Diablo2 again this time
im not using any modifications since
they gave me a version which really is
the coolest build of the said game.
Hope i can accomplish my Black Armored Paladin
well.
----Conventions,Events----
Hmmm conventions and events...
so far and just to attend KOMIKON and
HERO CON which are to be held on NOV 17 for
KOMIKON and DEC 1-2 for HERO CON.
Not much activities for me this time.
Seems i did grew tired of attending it.
----Art and Music----
im starting to collect new albums now.
its nice to have new music playing on
the winamp every now and then...
Art stuff is almost finished thou
the submission of this is supposed to be
dated back 2 months ago but what the hell
ill be posting the WIP of it for you guys to
see it.
----Other stuff----
ok i dont understand but for some reason...
i dont find her amusing at all this past few
months...
i really dont get it but even my reaction
to pics of her is like before.
So i asked myself why and i discovered
that it wasnt the same as before...
To put it short i finally understood the
difference of admiration or to admire someone,
infatuation and lastly love.
So much for spending tons of time before
i woke up from this daze.
i finally also understood that the more
that i reject who i was before the more
miserable i become.
Good thing that now im back to how
it was before...
I do feel the coldness of solitary but
what can i do that's what i chose when i
started to realize things around me.
So in the end what do i wanna do specially with her...
I dunno...
maybe i would do something that for me will
be the last thing that ill do for her
afterwards ill go start walking back
to the real path that i was suppose to walk
on.
Nah its not that im starting to feel pathetic
on myself at all...
Im more actually happy.
More time for myself and ease of mind.
That's what im always after.
Nways that the end of this entry
till the next post
Tally ho~! |
|
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| SONIC FANG! |
[Jul. 24th, 2007|06:25 pm] |
FUCK~!
the long awaited day of a person in his life that occurs only once a year is supposed to make
him/her happy...
but in my case its never like that...
i tried this year to make something out of it but in the end nothing went good...
and with all that frustration i just want to give
someone a sonic fang and a albatross to gut combo then do a lancaster combo...
(all are steve fox's moves in tekken. Steve Fox is a boxer type character)
and the person happens to be a girl....
i dont freakin care if she's a girl and to make things more nasty i like that girl a lot.
frustratiopn frustration frustration....
gotta do something to vent all the darkness,hate and rage inside
of me now...
PS:
now i have a slight understanding why 4chan-ers are like that to her...
tsk tsk...
pity to have known some of the many reasons why its like that...
pity... |
|
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| Wallet lost for the nth time~! |
[May. 30th, 2007|05:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
someone really really hates me up to my bone marrow....
i lost my wallet yesterday on the way home...
well the wallet doesnt contain any money but it contains one effin thing...
My school ID
FYI for the readers:
The Mapua ID costs 450php now you say that its just 450php..
well for me its a big sum since i had other plans for my savings and
its my 6th time to lose the ID in my whole college life. (beat that)
so that computes as
450php x 5 = (i dont want to know the result)
then add the sum of
50php (affidavit of loss) x 5
now add this new one that im to ask from my school XD
This is one of the results that im saying...
Im so freakin attached to technology and the internet that the longer i stay not linked to it...
My brain suffers a lot...
Maybe i should go back using the wallet that has chains attached to it.
Not to mention... Good thing i never dropped/lost my digi cam
and BLUE(ipod) that same day XD
ahahahaha... bullshit XD
PS:
i really should learn how to create non destructive comments XD
i really should keep in mind that women are very sensitive specially when it comes to words uttered by friends etc.
i really should know when i should not be stupid. |
|
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| Dammit... leave it to my alter ego to ruin everything.... |
[May. 23rd, 2007|05:19 pm] |
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy.....
first i had a quarrel with her best friend due to some words misunderstood by both parties.
Now im in another bad situation with her...
recently after the mangaholix event i posted a journal entry in deviantart.
Link to the entry: http://energeist.deviantart.com/journal/13017832/
In that entry i stated this:
"she had too much of it yesterday....
if she's not careful it may ruin her skin XD
putting make up is cool but too much isnt adviseable...
this is the very first time i've seen her with too much of it...
sorry if im saying this but dont stab me XD"
her sister replied back... her screen name was "orangeish"
and i never knew that she viewed it to... but she did XD
im not sure but i think it offended her in some way....
the gentleman part of me says "yes absolutely she was offended"
the demonic part of me (my alter ego) says "nah that aint possible as if!"
(i'll know if she replies in one of the post i made in certain web place)
Y_Y leave it all up to my alter ego to go saying everything on the net.
(lately my alter ego and my real self is contradicting each other.)
not to mention...
she may never have expected for something like that to be utter by a guy who loves her.
as long as im online every bit of idea will be blurted out by my fingertips...
which includes ideas that shouldnt be said nor written.
Ideas/opinions that would be best kept unsaid.
Its been a habit of mine that once online i will state what's on my mind.
what things that in my opinion should be and should not be.
forgetting that i may end up stepping others with my comments that i never thought
would be really really destructive to them in someway.
And the bad side of this i dont regret what i said instead i even hold a strong belief on it.
When she replies back i'll know if its a nuclear missile or just plain missile.
i hope none of the above.
since that really slims my chances down when it comes to her...
XD
SIDE NOTES:
i think this is the only blog that i have that isnt read by her or any of her friends.
well that a good and bad sign for me... i guess...
and looking at things on how i post on blogs...
seems this one is the main blog where all entries become one short/long entry. |
|
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| Leeroy Jenkins~! OH MY GHULAY I MADE A DUMB MOVE~! |
[May. 16th, 2007|11:43 am] |
ahahahahhaahha~!
dammit dammit dammit~!
me and my pride and big mouth XD
recently i posted a comment on a deviation on deviantart.
well the post wasnt suppose to start an arguement or anything
until someone posted a reply to my post XD
what i posted was this
"yup the costume isnt owned by Kipi...." (part of what i posted)
then the reply said
"Stop it with the Kipi comparing."
then i replied to that post saying
"foolish maggot cant you read and understand a simple sentence.
the sentence isnt even comparing.... foolish~!"
then another ply came then i replied again then a reply came again....
Now i was wondering who that person was...
so i checked the account and found something nasty for my side....
the account is -> http://diankh.deviantart.com/
and the person.... the person who owns the account is....
none other than Ms. Dianne Lopez. (she has a multiply account too diankh.multiply.com)
Dianne is alodia's bestfriend....
if your reading my past entries you'll understand why its nasty for my side....
add the fact that i called her "maggot" XD
uhm if she has a strong memory she'll definitely remember who i am since we've met IRL so many times already.
Ahahaha i guess everything blew up right back to me ahahaha...
im not sure what to do actually right now.
some of my friends are saying
"say sorry for what you did."
but that's action is not easy specially after calling someone maggot.
Not to mention... im a person so full of pride that i dont like saying sorry
for the things that i did.
=(
i dont know what i should do....
its like im a Leeroy Jenkins XD
i headed out to battle with a sword with no armor and got hit by one stupid stray
dagger that killed me on the spot XD
what should i do XD ahahaha |
|
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| Thoughts of a Calm Mind |
[May. 7th, 2007|07:10 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | calm | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | AT HOME | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Matsumura Kasumi -Truth (Boys Be OST) | ] |
(written may 2, taken from my devart journal)
Just finished watching the anime "Boys Be".
i started downloading it a month ago and was finished yesterday evening.
This anime is one of the rare ones.
It has mega low seed on the net... just 1 seeder X_X
im currently seeding this too to help out 67 peers X_X
You dont get to see an anime that can cater to both genders which
has a normal high school theme.
Lets just say its not your usual HS comedy / love story.
If you want a copy of it just tell me and i'll try my best
to give you a copy. Heck im even throwing in the OST of it ^^V
got the OST just this morning. 45 min download ^^V
watching it was worth the download.
it taught me things that i forgot to consider when it comes to making
a decision when falling in love.
but it doesnt mean that my resolve in loving her is shaken by it.
it just gave me a better definition of what it means to desire someone and
how love really should be in the first place.
As humans we tend to look for it but in reality, its the other way around.
Even if we dont look for it it will come.
And the reason why we look for it is because we feel lonely and we want to
fill that loneliness by having someone to share it with.
It never came into our minds that its all part of growing up and maturing
to a better person of what we are now.
All this things its the same as how seasons change.
and just like what the last saying of the anime said...
Once it passes, it will feel like it went by in a flash
Someday you will look back in it and laugh.
But that feeling will never disappear
You'll always carry it deep within your heart.
The most important season is the one were in now...
It's our season
And with the ending of one season...
A new one begins.
and so as the season of my love for her remains in my heart burning like an undying flame,
I'll do my best so that in the very end even if things never came out
what i want it to be.
I will have the courage to smile and laugh at it knowing that its
going to be one part that forever changed what and who i really am.
PS:
if all this doesnt make sense...
well i hope it really doesnt...
Hahahaha ^^
cause it something that the heart itself will realize
without the brain telling what it really meant.
Oh and ill be doing a short web comic.
its based on something that i found on the net the other day.
Hope you guys read it once its over ^^V
Till then~! |
|
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| Summer RANT |
[Apr. 27th, 2007|10:42 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | rant | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | AT HOME | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
Im kinda hyper these past few days and decided to do some changes.
ill be changing the theme of my multiply site slowly and also
revive my personal site.
the heat is surely killing and turning me back to a demonic me again..
hahahaha....
totally a person who abides by the darkness.
AND I LOVE IT~!!!
yesterday evening i argued with my parents and siblings about the
RF account im selling to someone here in our vicinity.
there mad at me since the person who is going to purchase my rf account
has purchased also an RF account of my brother but has only payed half the required sum.
(RF Account - a online game account for the game RF ONLINE phils.)
Their mad at me since the same person is going to buy my account
and teling me not to sell since the person wants a refund from the payment
he made to my brother.
The fuck do i care bout there problem.
First and foremost i dont freakin care who purchases my account.
All i care is that i'll be disposing it for money so that i could purchase
a super limited edition toy.
Stupid people....
That's their problem with that person. I dont have anything to do with it.
If he purchases my account then fine he can have it as long as he gives me
a complete payment...
Hell do i care if he has some money problems with my brother its their problem
not mine.
I almost popped to the point that i want to punch and kill my brother since they keep saying things that arent true.
i really really really hate being blamed/accused for something that i didnt do.
Do that to me ill despise you and make you feel pain much worse than hell
can give.
Look at the situation if your in my shoes you'd definitely dont care and
might even feel the same way.
Why stop me from selling my account? its my merchandise!
Not to mention its not your problem if that person has some financial
problems with another seller.
Your aim is just to sell the account and obtain the complete payment.
(since i dont accept unless its full payment.)
I really wish someone would shoot some 100% pure common sense onto my parents
and my two stupid siblings X_X
like what my friend nadine said in one of our YM conversations...
"There is no person in the world who deserves to be flooded with misfortune" or something near to what i stated.
But sadly i guess i am flooded with tons of misfortunes...
as long as im with fools mainly my family
(ewww... cant even classify them as a family or person...)
misfortune will always stay by my side...
all i can do is try to change it and wield it so that something
fruitfull may happen....
Which makes me wonder (since i believe in reincarnation)
was i that freakin devishly nasty, wicked and cold hearted
in my previous life that i ended up suffering in this damn lifetime?
PS:
if your wondering why im so 'cold shouldered" and so harsh that
i dont even freakin care bout others...
Dont wonder... thats who i really am....
i can become conceited at times...
im also most of the time selfish...
BUT DONT BE MISTAKEN~!!
i wont be selfish when it comes to the girl i love.
Keep i mind i will do everything i can for her.
Lastly as long as it will be beneficial to me...
as long as i can gain something i'd go for it.
Even if it means to crush other people's pride and dreams...
cause from what i learned....
If you dont stay ahead of others, they'll be the ones trampling you.
Better be the one who will trample rather than the one trampled... |
|
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| Clock Up Summer: Random Thoughts |
[Apr. 7th, 2007|05:54 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | At Home relaxing | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Anime~! | ] |
Henshin!!!
More and more Cool things are happening :D
^^V Check it out~!
-----
One:
Love Rant (more like confused X_X )
the thing about feelings is that if you just think about them they wont reach the other person.
But also the thing about it even after it is said... sometimes it seems that it still havent
reached them.
Yeah yeah~! i know i told her already. Swallowed my pride and cleared it out infront of her.
but the thing is...
we dont know for sure if it reaches the other side...
there are still some things that i havent told her...
its like everytime in just being held back by myself which in turn ends with me
not saying it leaving my conscience stabbing me.
X_X
i've become a softy...
unlike before i used to be as cold as ice not caring
bout such trivial things.
(yeah back then i considered LOVE as a very trivial thing and its just a waste of time)
Wish i could be back to my old self.
One that never cared for what others may say to what i do.
One that never held back on anything.
One that never regretted things done in the past, present and the future to come.
If i cant become what i was before then all i wish is that
i could be more confident with myself again...
so that i could tell her directly what i really do feel
about this whole "loving her whole heartedly" thing...
tch~!
so much of this makes me vommit and despise....
even if it is me saying this...
-------
Two:
well well.... i never thought i'd be seeing Wu Wu in her arms ahaha~!
awhile back i got to view new pics of the sisters and to my surprise Wu Wu
was with her ahaha~!
Wu Wu was the stuffed panda that i gave her for her birthday.
The sight and fact that she is happy to have it and hugging it meant that
i never made the wrong decision.
Yeah yeah i know its just a panda that was given on her birthday and she'll of course
use it eventually.
But the thing is im really delighted.
to have the one you love accpet that present and use it happily.
thats something that fills the emptiness and loneliness inside me.
Replacing it with happiness even for just a short while.
------
Three:
So far this is the best holy week for me.
my mind is peaceful and im not that much confused
on most of the things....
^^V
Rider Kick
Summer Vacation is almost over but im pretty sure
before this ends im going to have something to remember this by...
specially since this has been the best vacation ever for me.
Even if something are also a little out of proportion still....
This summer will definitely be the best~!
PS:
FUCK I REALLY MISS HER~!
I WANNA SEE YOU~!
That's all for now~!
KITE OUT Clock Up~! |
|
|
| Clock Up Summer |
[Mar. 28th, 2007|01:24 pm] |
so far this is turning out to be one cool vacation.
Yeah yeah i know im just stuck at home, cant talk to her,
and i just bum around.
but so far a lot of cool things have happened.
One of which is i got addicted to Kamen Rider Kabuto
special thanks to a friend of mine named Josh~! and while watching it i was also enjoying some chat with some fellow
DA users :D, and YM friends.
Im also powering up my gunslinger :D
hmmm... guess my gunslinger deserves a sketchie~!
all i wish for now is to talk to her :D
here are some of the cool things that happened.
-----
One:
My cosplay spirit got fired up when i talked to aimee
(a friend of mine) ok let me describe aimee for you guys.
Aimee is a very beautiful, guitar wielding girl. she'll show you how cool music can be add the fact that she is spiced up
with her awesome techniques when it comes to art.
Oh and did i mention that she's a cosplayer too?
ahaha i myself got surprised.
I asked for the YM id of her friend since her friend has an item
that will help me in my cosplay and then i ended up showing her
a pic of what im going to cosplay.
She told me all sort of things that would benefit cosplayers
alot. As she continued she mentioned that she cosplayed before.
its like she's one of those girls that are called
"ALL IN ONE PACKAGE" a rare find :D
and because of her like what i said i got fired up~!
im so inspired :love: i'll make sure i accomplish it.
i will play the dragon on stage for them.
For her, my friends and for those who are cheerin on for me~!
-------
Two:
i got to talk to silencio-anino decently this time ahaha....
the first time was crap...
talked to her normally... or was it normal for be...
i noticed that as we continue with our conversation i end up
giving her a taste of my cold aura...
what can i do...
the topic was about happiness...
talking about happiness towards a man who only knew sadness.
putting that aside i continued my chit chat with her.
She told me that she plays the drums and the guitars~!
wow...
she's pretty (prettier than Riyu Kosaka and Tamaki Nami),
talented and artistic too~!
she's an all in one package...
hmmm... i noticed this...
i kept on bumping towards women who are
"All in one package"
*scratches head* oh well like what they say...
"rare finds are something a person must take care the most"
wish i could talk to her more often :D
i really enjoyed having a chat with her.
I also chose her as a candidate for my manganize~!
------
Three:
helmet frame is complete.
im just going to mache nd put some wood putty then the finishing
touches.
Conclusion:
this are really going nicely...
its like everything is becoming one
KANZEN CHOUWA (Perfect Harmony)
ahaha from the looks of things onely one thing is left
which is to see my idol in photography...
Ms. Tricia :D
but im expecting that may take some time before such thing
happens...
unless...
i make the world revolve around me again.
which i did long before i became a deviant.
PS:
FUCK I REALLY MISS HER~! |
|
|
| Blog things |
[Mar. 4th, 2007|11:22 am] |
here we go again with this blog things...
got it from a friend of mine here i LJ
ahahaha..
here we go
| You're Totally Sarcastic | 
You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.
Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.
And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad. |
~~~~~~~~
| You Are Spider-Man | 
Quick and agile, you have killer instincts (literally).
And that kind of makes up for the whole creepy spider thing. |
~~~~~~~~
| Your Career Personality: Capable, Friendly, and Energetic | 
Your Ideal Careers:
Actor
Advertising Executive
Artist
Counselor
Entrepreneur
Musician
Politician
Psychologist
Teacher
Television Reporter |
~~~~~~~~~~
| You Are The Chariot | 
You represent a difficult battle, and a well-deserved victory.
You tend to struggle to get what you want, both internally and externally.
You excel at controlling opposing forces, getting down the same path.
In the end, you bring glory and success - using pure will to move forward.
Your fortune:
There is great conflict in your life right now, either with yourself or others.
You must find a solution to this conflict, which is likely to be a "middle road" between the two forces.
You posses the skills to triumph over these struggles, as long as your will is strong.
You are transforming your inner self, building a better foundation for future successes. |
~~~~~~~~~~~
| Your Scholastic Strength Is Innovating | 
You are the master of new ideas, techniques, and ways of looking at things.
You are talented at structuring thoughts, decision making, clarifying, and making deadlines.
You should major in:
Marketing
Psychology
Desgin
Cognitive Science
Economics
Photography |
the fourth one... i seem to find it to have some truth in it...
maybe its becoz it can relate to what is happening now in my life.
nways till the next log~!
KITE OUT~! |
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| Confused more than ever |
[Feb. 27th, 2007|01:05 pm] |
Last night i got a chance to think things about for myself.
after i walked our dogs out for the night it started pouring rain slowly.
i went outside and said to myself why does it always come on cue.
as the raining started to pour a little harder i sat on the
other side of the street along the sidewalk and started thinking
what should i really do.
after more than 30 mins of getting soaked in the rain i was able to gather this much.:
i know that i've unintentionaly joked to her that i like her last year which is why i dont really know if she knows that i do have feelings for her.
but for me looking at things.... so far not much has changed.
i havent actually got a good grip of things about me and her.
to be honest i dont even know what steps should i take.
when i saw her last valentines i just messed everything up.
its as if im just moving forward... forward in a wrong direction. its a good thing that her friend accompanied her
and she was able to snap me back to reality with a stupid joke that her friend made
and because of that i was able to muster enough strength to give
her a small gift and now
her birthday just around the corner and im lucky enough to be able to find the perfect gift for her.
but still... we all know gifts are not important in this situation. its like i've been hiding in the shadows of gifts.
i kept on giving her stuff but do those stuff actually reach her inside.... im thinking probably not.
i know that i've decided that this will be the year that im going to start everything and try to end it but so far nothing of importance has happened.
i dont know... maybe im just a coward...
the coward way back before i met my first girlfriend...
i also have this fear that if i dont do anything then i'll end up not moving forward with her.
She's the only thing that keeps me going.
if im to lose her to someone else then im pretty sure that i'd stop.
to confess im actually acting out by emotions. Not thinking what should be done right. Can anyone tell me or advice me what i should be doing?
cause this time before i plunge into total darkness im doing myself one last favor... that is to do find happiness in her which i did find though i cant grasp it firmly with my hands.
For now i decided that im going to see her in her birthday and
im going to her house and deliver the present myself.
even if i had to cut my classes.
Also i've decided to make things much clearer to her.
im heading out this time without a good sense of what's gonna happen.
when i audition for HERO as a host someone said to me
"if you need something in your life to happen then just act on it.if you dont then nothing is gonna happen, nothing is going to change. Your future depends on how your going to face the present"
The future depends on how i tackle the present huh...
i just want one scene for my future....
that future is to be with her.
now tell me what should i do inorder for the future to be like that.
i dont even know much of her friends nor what the things the likes the best nor what make her happy to be precise.
i need help...
what should i do?
im pretty sure she wont be waiting for me nor she would do something so that i could take a step closer to her. |
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| Special Journal Entry No19 |
[Feb. 15th, 2007|09:35 am] |
Valentine’s Day
(written around 3am in th morning of Feb 15)
I finally arrived home~!
I can now definitely say that this is the most expensive valentines that I ever had but I can also definitely say that its worth it~!
Ok before I start saying what I happened let me explain the meaning of valentines for me.
For me valentines is not only for couples who are in love or in a relationship, or to those people who are infatuated or currently experiencing puppy love. Valentines is an occasion wherein either man or woman can show how important a certain person is to them by either giving them flowers or anything and spending time with them may it be long or short. What’s important is you remembered how important they are in your life.
(damn im starting to have a migraine)
Ok let start the story telling. I was unable to sleep much yesterday (Feb13) since im really excited over what’s to happen the following day. For Christ sake~! 2 years of no valentines date~! That really took its toll on me~!
I was able to get some sleep around 2:30am in the morning (Feb 14 already) and woke up around 7:30am. Eat my breakfast, took a bath, prepared my stuff and off to Katipunan for me since that’s the first place im to go to. I was a little frustrated since im to meet someone and that someone is the most important person for me and I still don’t have any flowers X_X
Good thing that I researched a little about the area and took a note of certain shops.
I dropped by a flower shop in Katipunan and bought some flowers. 2 batch since she has a lady friend who accompanied her. Uhm… to clear things out this is what I told her when I asked her out.
Me: so any plans for valentines
Her: Nope
Me: err…. That’s got to be cold
Her: yeah…
(a DA friend told me to try asking her out for a coffee meet up, she told me ask her a little of her time. Tell her that she needs a time out from her busy schedule.)
Me:hmmm… so your free this feb 14?
Her: note really… I still have school Y_Y
Me: hmmm.. what time is your vacant?
Her: around 10am why?
Me: if you would like to we can have coffee at starbucks?
Me: wait let me rephrase that, let’s have some coffee at starbucks, its near your school
right :D
Her: hmm…
Me: (*shocked* OMG I got myself into another fine mess made by myself) yey!
Me: *thinking[ (*remembers that she never goes out without someone accompanying her, I don’t want it to be a guy so) ]
Me: you can bring 2 or 1 of your friends with you. You can bring friend no1 or friend no2
(its hard so state the names X_X )
Her: ok I’ll try to convince either one of them.
So that’s how I got into something like that ahaha… I thought that only works in movies but I guess it does work IRL too.
She was accompanied by friend no2 (her bestfriend) and they came around 10am.
(im was really early at the meeting place since I really really hate being late in a meet up)
We had a little chat thou I was a little muted at first since she was there and she was my total weakness… I ended up becoming a little shy but my conscience was like
“BULLSHIT, SAY SOMETHING YOU MORON~! SHE’S HERE TALK TO HER BASTARD”
And I just keep on blurting things out until I got a good sip of JAVA CHIP FRAP.
She ordered CARAMEL FRAP, while her friend ordered CHOCOLATE FRAP.
I was surprised that aside from the sweetness of caramel, she added 4 packs of sugar and chocolate powder…. That really ought to send a person into a hyper state.
But in my case, java coffee is enough asides from peppermint. We kept talking an enjoyed a few laughs ourselves. We left around 11:15pm since her friend has a class and they need to get back to school before it starts thou when we were talking her friend was saying “I don’t want to attend my Filipino class” and I was like the perfect devil saying “don’t attend it” and I even asked how many absences they can make and when I found that they are still in the clear I told them not to attend everytime she kept saying that she doesn’t want to attend Filipino class. I also got surprised when she said that her PE (her bestfriend) was about KITE making and flying X_X
Wth~! That wasn’t right at all… there really is no need for a person to learn in school, and to be specific in college how to fly and create a kite. Its already intuitional X_X
Before we got separated I gave her a little something… She liked it and I hope she’ll keep it.
I went to ortigas afterwards to meet with some of my otaku friends since they want to discuss things with me which of course is in my interest cause if not I wont be there if I wont benefit a cent X_X
Around 4pm I went to intramuros to pick up my date.
Allysa (finally I got her name spelled right ahaha) was the main event for this valentines cause I made her a promise back in the month of January that I’ll be taking her out for valentines and I completely forgot until she called me in the third week of January since I never called or texted her after we went out.
I told her before hand that I never like wearing executive like outfits so I proposed that we wear casual apparel. I wore my makeshift emo rocker outfit complete with a coffin bag and she wore a semi harajuku outfit. She wore a red shirt with a print on saying
“Love is for Losers”
A week before I also said to her that we’ll be getting out of the conventional colors and outfit of valentines. Thou she went a little overboard.
The print really shocked me…. And and she said that im to blame since I wanted to go out of the conventional theme. All I can reply is
“hmmmm…. Least you really look cute in that outfit” She’s 23 years old and she sometimes act like a child.
I took her to Greenbelt 3, plan was to eat some merienda then watch a movie then eat dinner then hang out somewhere in makati then… hang out some more ahaha…
After eating a little at McDonalds we went straight for the cinemas, I asked her what movie would she like to see and she replied “Ghost Rider” and to me… well its cool that she wants to see a movie like that since I really hate movies that has tons of love scenes X_X make me puke~!
I tried to change her mind thou but she insisted on seeing ghost rider. Bought the tickets and went in. the movie was great I enjoyed it… a little.. she kept on leaning on the shoulder while clasping her hand on mine then asking me to put some popcorn in her mouth since she was timid to use her hands to reach unto the bucket. I cant say no since she was like a 5 year old girl who wanted attention and with those cute eyes… damn I just cant say no to her. After the movie we went to Tokyo Tokyo to have dinner.
I ordered my usual, Pork Tonkatsu, California Maki, and Yakisoba while she ordered Shrimp Tempura and Mixed Sushi. As we were eating she kept teasing me since when we were ordering I really wanted to try the Shrimp Tempura but I cant since Im allergic to it.
She kept saying the shrimp were good… she kept saying it 5 times in a row until I used my chopsticks and took one of her shrimp and eat it and said “Crunchy” and she said “hey~! No fair~!” then she took one slice of my tonkatsu and a California maki and said “that the equivalent trade for eating my shrimp, hmp!” and I said “Wat DA~! But you took one maki X_X”. She replied its because you didn’t asked for permission.
(current status as I am writing this: shit~! Migraine kicking very badly~!)
After which we went to Starbucks and bought some sugary goodness.
We discussed what we’ve been doing with our daily lives and a little bout love life.
Later on she asked me if we can watch another movie, I asked her why she told me that she wants to see a love movie this time for no apparent reason. So we went back to the movie house and watch the movie of angel locsin and Richard Gutierrez X_X
(*vomit* crappy)
After watching the movie she was just silent unlike after we watched ghost rider. I told her lets have some coffee again and went back to Starbucks.
As we were drinking I said “You miss him right?” she nodded and replied “I just wish he was here. Thou we cant force him to be here since he’s out of the country.”
I asked her “Has he called you?” and Allysa replied “Not yet.. not even an email”
Damn I was freaking useless she was depressed. Amidst the silence I said “He’ll contact you for sure. Cause only a moron like me wont call the person who is important to me” then she replied “But at the very least you’ve got guts to show your face infront of her today and give her flowers”. Thinking of what could make her smile again I told her that I want to go to a nearby park. So we went to the Park at Salcedo Village. Its around 11:30pm at that time. Upon reaching the park I told her that we should rest a for a little while in a bench. As we sat, she sat closely by me and she tilted her head on my shoulders. She smiled a little and said “if we met much earlier in our life what could have happened” I was surprised when she said that. I tried to think of an answer and replied “if we were to have met earlier in our life then we might have ended up more what we have now.”
To be honest… if she really came into my life first before the person I love the most then definitely I would love her the way I would love the person I love now.
Lots of other things happened before we left the park… don’t want to elaborate nor narrate those…
I accompanied her back to her house and upon reaching her house, before she went inside she asked me.
“Do you really love her.. that cosplayer… that model… that doll faced woman…”
I said “Yes, if im to sacrifice everything just to have a chance to be with her and show her how much she means to me I’d do so”
Allysa then said “if that’s the case then when the moment comes grab hold of it and do your thing”
“of all the men I knew, you’re the only guy whose been true to the heart. Your feelings don’t lie and its bluntly saying everything involuntarily.
“if you really think she’s for you and that you cant live without her then don’t let her out of your sight and make her yours”
“Competition will surely be tough with her status in life like what you’ve said but you got what it takes all you need now is a good push”
“make her say those words in my place”
And then she went inside and I was like lagging…. Her words echoing in my mind specially the last part “IM MY PLACE”
WTF~!
Im practically speechless with what she said thou I don’t want to question why she said that….
I got home around 2:30am and I was really thinking about what she said.
If we just met earlier everything might have been very different.
Thou that wont happen… since I vowed that this feeling that I have now for the woman that I love will be the feelings that I will live on for the rest of my life.
She’ll be like the others who held a special part of me… just like how Euryanne taught me how to keep and be true to my promises… Alyssa taught me that once a person gets a slight hold of what they want, do everything you can to have a firm grasp of it for if you don’t that will surely cease to exist and the only thing left would surely be regret.
So much for this journal entry…
Time for me to sleep I have classes tomorrow…
See ya guys on the next entry~!
Kite out~! |
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| She's sick... OMG |
[Feb. 12th, 2007|10:20 am] |
yup i read it on her journal that she has colds and is not feeling well...
hope she recovers quickly.. she has tons of school work to do and also i dont want to see her
in that condition when we meet at wednesday X_X
looking things going like this for her makes me shitty...
i want to do something for her so that she could recover much faster and her burden be lessened.
Crappy~!
things i'll do for the woman i love... |
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| Special Journal Entry No11: Cracked like a nut shell X_X |
[Nov. 17th, 2006|03:11 am] |
(written Nov16 around 9pm)
Hahahaha yesterday I was overflowing with too much adrenaline because of some events
That happened a day back.
When I got up today I was over flowing with dark aura….
Ahahahaha~! Guess im really a child of darkness X_X
Im also guessing that it’s the draw back of having so much adrenaline inside that it kept
overflowing and later turned into negative energy.
But im really glad that I had that rush of adrenaline the other day.
I’ve never slept so peacefully compared to yesterday.
Heck I even dreamt about her with me ahahahahha~!
Im currently addicted to Drum simulation games and I even bought my own drumsticks
3 weeks back…
Just a while ago, my sticks snapped…
Not because of excessive drumming but it was because it fell of my bag just in time when I was about to close the door of the car im riding.
It snapped like a fragile twig X_X
Now I have to buy a new pair.
And due to that incident I need to create a casing for it so that it wont happen again.
Currently im resting and thinking about the things I am to do this Saturday and Sunday at HERO Con.
See ya guys there~!
This is all for now. My brain needs to be formatted so that it can be set to the right
tune so that i could start getting serious with my thesis.
CIAO~! ^^V |
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| Special Journal Entry No.9: Midnight Run |
[Nov. 2nd, 2006|01:15 am] |
Yup this is the first time that im still completely awake with both eyes wide open.
I dot know what an I waiting for to happen but I just could sleep.
Its as if I was cursed not to sleep today.
Currently im watching a re-run of Ai Yori Aoshi Episodes 1 to 10 and currently I stopped to write this.
Ok so far a bunch of good things happened today. One is that I was able to finish the part 2 of chapter one of my fanfic RF ONLINE: DESTINED HEARTS. Ill be posting it tomorrow at the boards. Next was I was able to draw Lily.
Hahaha you might be wondering who she is so just wait for my upload at deviantart to know who Lily is. I haven’t completed my sketches for the 1,000 hits in devart.
Im even wondering today how many hits have I obtained.
Our computer shop didn’t opened today since nobody would actually play today since
Most of the people are at the cemeteries visiting their departed love ones.
Crap I wasn’t able to play RF ONLINE too today… what an utter waste of game time this day turned out to be.
Now that im watching re-runs it makes me think about her.
What might she be doing today?
Its her sembreak and if my intuition is right she’s probably surfing the net, chatting with some friends of hers while doing som coloring in her computer.
Im kinda envious since she has time to do the things she likes.
But I guess it just all falls down to time management and also her current status in the society. Since she has almost everything.
Im even wondering if she experiences some hardships. But then again each person will encounter different hardships. It only a matter of time before the bygone comes in.
But if she’s to be in a pinch i wont hesitate to assist her in anyway I can.
Speaking of assisting in anyway I can im wondering about another girl…
I haven’t received any messages from her lately. Hope she’s doing fine…
She’s a strong willed woman but she can be she can be clumsy at times.
Sometimes I even try my very best to get her out of a problem :D
And that was also the main reason why I got close to her ahahaha…
Almost forgot the most important thing that happened today.
I happened to found out something interesting.
I was always asked by some of my friends why do I fall for Chinese or Japanese women.
Whether if they are full blood Japanese or Chinese or just a splash of the said genes I really fall for those kinds of women. Well guess what I finally found the reason why.
I guess its all in the genes that I have. I got to see a picture of my Grandmother and Grandfather on my mother’s side. My grandmother was very beautiful. And to be exact she’s a Chinese. Seems that I may have gotten some of the traits of my grandfather who fell for Chinese or Japanese type women.
And also according to my mother from the stories that she told me about her childhood, Grandmother came from a rich family. Grandfather’s status is just the same as ours. Wish grandfather was alive. He could teach me a thing or two when it comes to courting women XD and if im to rethink what my mother told me…
I may be rewriting the past….
By chance am I really rewriting it? But none the less I’d still pursue her ahaha…
Such one track mind I’ve got… XD
We’ll gotta finish the re-runs im doing and head to sleep.
Its already 1:19 in the morning XD
Must sleep or I may end up dozing off tomorrow ahahaha….
Oyasumi nasai~!
ADD ON: (3:10am)
Im still awake but very sleepy.
Before I go to sleep I would like to add some accomplishments for today….
I was able to write 2 poems today…
Well that’s basically it this time….
Its good night finally….
Oyasumi XD |
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| Special Journal Entry No.8: 2006 Komikon rocks UP Bahay ng Alumni |
[Oct. 22nd, 2006|05:33 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | at home || MY Comp Shop | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bokura Ga ita - Kimi Dake Wo.mp3 | ] |
Yup~!
The 2006 Komikon definitely rocked the house today!!!
Compared to last year, The event had more booths and more rares to show.
Not to mention the personalities (anime,comic and music[jrock,jpop phil bands])
that attended the said event.
Ok where should I start?
Let’s start with the booths!
Comparing it to last year the booths today are move lively.
FullyBooked was one of the new booths and also the WACOM booth which was tied
with the booth of NEO COMICS. The Kubori Kikiam Booth, compared to last year they had more items on their desks ^^V
LevelUp Games also showed up again but this time with a small booth XD
Guess bringing something big wont fit the said event ^^V
The artist~!
Yup lots of artist showed up again not to mention the GLASS HOUSE who made their
debut in the Philippine comic events last week at SM Megamall with their art lessons and
portfolio reviews.
Artist from marvel,dc and other indies (independent comics) showed up.
Included in the list are Taga-Ilog (known for the title PASIG in culture Crash),
Wilson Tortosa(Battle of the Planets) the artist of the comic “TRESE” was also there.
POL MEDINA WAS THERE~!
Yup Mr. Pol Medina was present during the event and received and award in a certain category that I don’t know… hehehehe…..
But he left immediately after receiving the award….
A little later another awarding was done and he won it~!
Someone just took the prize in his place ^^V
Their comics (an indie) sold like pancakes! Around 2 or 3pm their titles were almost sold out!!! There are so much artist that I even forgot the others ^^V
(sorry for not mentioning you guys.. GOMENASAI~!)
Ok what were the things that I bought during the event?
I got the KUBORI CRASH~!
A special release by the creators of Kubori Kikiam and I got it signed ^^v
Too bad Taga-Ilog wasn’t there to sign it too T_T
Next was the limited edition CAT’s Trail stickers made by IQ40(creator of Cat’s Trail[Culture Crash]). The stickers were hand cut (he used scissors of course)
It was worth it WAHAHAHAHHAHA~!
Next was the 2006 Komikon T-shirt. Bought it for 175php at the Lyndon Gregorio’s(creator/artist of Beerkada) booth. I never got one last year since it sold like a lemonade in a hot summer day.
Lastly I got THE MYTHICAL, LEGENDARY,MOST CRAZED AND SOUGHT AFTER ISSUE OF CULTURE CRASH COMICS~!
THE ISSUE FIVE POINT FIVE~!
Yup I was able to get the copy since I happen to be an early bird.
But actually I had no intention of becoming an early bird but still I became one.
Thank YOU LORD~!
My issue was IN THE BEST CONDITION and IT HAD SIGNATURES of some of the artist of culture crash~!
There was a booth selling some titles of culture crash that had been signed by the artist of the said comic. I stopped and looked for the 5.5 issue and it was there~!
Bought it immediately for 200PHP~!
EVEN IF IT WAS SOLD FOR 350PHP I WILL STILL BUY IT!
Now my culture crash comics is complete since those guys won be releasing it anytime soon.
Im so happy that I attended the said event.
I got to know a lot of artist that had so much talent that I cant even describe ^^V
Not to mention I gave her a gift WEEEEE~!
I gave her a little something and she liked it ^^V
YAY~!
Ahahahaa…..
Time to Rest and read the comics that I bought.
Catch You Later~!
PS:
I never got a chance to pass the comic strip that I was making for the RF ILLUSTRATOR CONTEST but I will post in in my devart sometime for you guys.
I want some critic on that art of mine.
And due to that experience I now want to enhance my drawing skills.
I must level up for the sake of creativity! |
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| Special Journal Entry No.7: Late Wake Up Call and Ridiculous Events |
[Oct. 11th, 2006|01:15 am] |
Currently im on my way to school and im typing this as I am riding in a shuttle service to makati.
Of all the things why open your laptop in a shuttle while its moving.
Fuck its hard to type ok~!
I opened it cause I forgot to charge my fuckin IPOD.
I was supposed to do that last night but a customer o ours made me do a typing job.
The typing job includes creating greeting cards, sales invoice etc.
Fuck im getting fuckin dizzy from writing this, the shuttle is fuckin bouncy~!
Sorry for the words im currently using but Im really irritated ever since I did that typing job.
The project (the said typing job) was for her lazy daughter.
Her daughter hates doing homework. Actually they were making it in their house but
Her daughter is too lazy that while making the said project her very own daughter left her out of confusion.
Crappy this is the main reason why I don’t accept typing jobs in my computer shop.
Also yesterday I was supposed to do my homework for thesis but due again to that stupid typing job I never had time.
We had to close the shop by the time I finished the typing job.
Last night before I go to slep I’ve set my watch to alarm at 5am and went to sleep.
The alarm went on exactly 5am and I reached for my watch and turned it off..
I looked at the time and said to myself “It’s still too early! I’ll sleep for just one more hour”
And the next thing I knew it was around 7am “FUCK~! I overslept~!” I hurriedly ate my breakfast and took a bath and left home for shool as fast as I can.
I hate this frantic moments of mine. Rushing is one of the things that I hate most but looking at things now I cant do anything but go for a rush hour…..
Poor me~!
Ok I’ve only said bad news lets add some good news.
October 21 is KOMIKON~!
Weee finally the event that started it all for me.
Im to attend the said event and hopefully I should be able to participate in one of the contest.
The prize is really useful for me. Im participating in the “RF ILLUSTRATOR CONTEST” the grand prize is 2,500php,
3 levels boost in RF ONLINE, max of 2 main PT’s (2 main stat’s will become 99/99), and a chance to become an illustrator for Level Up’s RF ONLINE.
Im currently learning how to use color pencils and a friend of mine, her name is Christine Aimee Bautista (weee aimee-chan~!) taught me some points on how should I try to manipulate the colors. Add also two friends of mine in school. They borrowed my color pencils and started coloring some of my Xeroxed line art and guess what those two knew how to blend colors~! Woot bring them yesterday really was a good thing.
Well ill be resting now for a bit im near half way to my school.
See ya later ^^V |
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energeist's journal
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